Thursday, November 15, 2012

What it's like to leave everything I've ever known

Some of you might have received a text, others of you might have seen my post on Facebook, but one way or another the word is out. For those of you that might not have heard, last week I accepted a job at DYB Choisun Institute in Seoul, South Korea. I signed a year-long contract to work six hours a day, six days a week, teaching the English language to elementary and middle school children.

Initially, I was to begin employment on November 29 but since getting a visa takes roughly three weeks, and I will need a day or two at least to get moved into my new apartment, the school is being flexible with my starting date.

The job, however, is not what I intended to write about since I really have nothing to say about it yet. The purpose of this post is to express the mixture of emotions which I have trouble expressing in real life. For some reason, I can't fully show my family and friends the excitement, the fear, the relief, or the sadness I feel about leaving my home and moving to the other side of the world. These are the things I feel every night before bed but that can't be verbalized when someone asks me how I feel about moving.

It has been a dream of mine ever since I can remember but now that it is approaching, it doesn't feel like I thought it would. I have spent two decades in Kalamazoo and the longest that I have been away was the three months I lived in Los Angeles last summer. Kalamazoo is my family and friends, my favorite restaurant and coffeeshop, my childhood treehouse and the road I take to school. Nine out of ten memories are in Kalamazoo. It is all so familiar, which I love and hate at the same time.

I won't say that it is my time to get out of here, just that it is too late not to. And somehow that is what is comforting. Since I have no idea what to be excited for or afraid of, the only thing I can do now is go and see for myself. The only thing that I do know right now is that Kalamazoo is full of good people who will be missed.